Realigning Our Beliefs: Letting Go of the Past
The first quarter of the
year has been extremely challenging for my psyche and my spirit. It made me
confront issues I thought were better left ignored. It made my faith stronger.
It made me choose a stand. In those quiet months I have come to relearn a few
things and I will share them with you.
I relearned that the reason most of us feel guilty or shameful about the actions we have done in the past is because those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. In a module I once taught; we refer to this as MORAL DILEMMA. Our past wrongs can actually clue us in to what we value or hold important. When we identify our learned morals and values, we start to get a clearer picture as to “why” we're hurting over what we've done, or what others did to us.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is to FORGIVE OURSELVES. In order to do that, we need to start replacing the negative behavior and thoughts with more appropriate ones that are align with ourselves; our morals and values our accepted reality. When we do this, we reaffirm to ourselves that we have the capacity to handle situations in the way we really want to. And needless to say, this can bring us to a sense of pride, which is a huge part of building our self-esteem.
In the past when I would do my coaching and help people to move away from
their past, it wasn’t easy for them. It is very often overwhelming because they
see so many regrets and feel too much guilt. It then becomes helpful to identify
these regrets and guilt. When we have uncovered them we are able to classify and
look into the pattern of behavior better. And as it is, working with patterns
of behavior is often more helpful than working on individual regrets and guilt.
Some regrets don’t seem to improve easily, and they require some extra work. It often takes bringing this regrets and guilt out in the open; almost like serving it on a platter. Once we are able to “see” it, ACCEPTANCE and OWNERSHIP gets easier. Then we are able to apologize for our past mistake.
Necessarily, we also have to accept that the past has happened. We have done everything in our capacity to make the corrections on our past mistakes. Knowing that, we can admit that it is now time to turn the page and accept those events as part of our story. They've all contributed to making us who we are. Being grateful for those experiences allows us to move on and truly forgive ourselves.
When we were young children, walking didn’t instantly happen. Most of us crawled to begin with. When we were finally able to stand, we fell several times. It definitely took a few steps and falls before we achieved walking and running. New behavior and thinking patterns are no different. They're both skills. Allow ourselves some slack while we’re on a new learning curve. Realize that WE'RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES. We all do.
Lastly, let us move toward LOVING OURSELVES. Let us think kind thoughts toward ourselves and show ourselves some compassion. If we can learn to think of ourselves as our best friend, to speak to ourselves with love, kindness, and put ourselves as our priority, it reaffirms that we believe we are worth it. We must also remember to surround ourselves with supportive people.
We are all more than our past mistakes. WE ARE SO WORTH IT!!!
The next post will give you the nutshell :)
I relearned that the reason most of us feel guilty or shameful about the actions we have done in the past is because those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. In a module I once taught; we refer to this as MORAL DILEMMA. Our past wrongs can actually clue us in to what we value or hold important. When we identify our learned morals and values, we start to get a clearer picture as to “why” we're hurting over what we've done, or what others did to us.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is to FORGIVE OURSELVES. In order to do that, we need to start replacing the negative behavior and thoughts with more appropriate ones that are align with ourselves; our morals and values our accepted reality. When we do this, we reaffirm to ourselves that we have the capacity to handle situations in the way we really want to. And needless to say, this can bring us to a sense of pride, which is a huge part of building our self-esteem.
Some regrets don’t seem to improve easily, and they require some extra work. It often takes bringing this regrets and guilt out in the open; almost like serving it on a platter. Once we are able to “see” it, ACCEPTANCE and OWNERSHIP gets easier. Then we are able to apologize for our past mistake.
Necessarily, we also have to accept that the past has happened. We have done everything in our capacity to make the corrections on our past mistakes. Knowing that, we can admit that it is now time to turn the page and accept those events as part of our story. They've all contributed to making us who we are. Being grateful for those experiences allows us to move on and truly forgive ourselves.
When we were young children, walking didn’t instantly happen. Most of us crawled to begin with. When we were finally able to stand, we fell several times. It definitely took a few steps and falls before we achieved walking and running. New behavior and thinking patterns are no different. They're both skills. Allow ourselves some slack while we’re on a new learning curve. Realize that WE'RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES. We all do.
Lastly, let us move toward LOVING OURSELVES. Let us think kind thoughts toward ourselves and show ourselves some compassion. If we can learn to think of ourselves as our best friend, to speak to ourselves with love, kindness, and put ourselves as our priority, it reaffirms that we believe we are worth it. We must also remember to surround ourselves with supportive people.
We are all more than our past mistakes. WE ARE SO WORTH IT!!!
The next post will give you the nutshell :)
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